Are you one of those girls who always seems to have a bunch of first dates lined up, but for some reason, you’re never able to make it to date two? If I just described your dating life, then I hate to break it to you, but you probably have a case of “the needy 20-something girl.”
You may not be one yourself, but I’m willing to bet you know a few girls who fit right into this category. The Vice President of Matchmaking at Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, Ashley Kaylor, has had to deal with her fair share of of 20-somethings with needy girl syndrome, which makes her the perfect expert on exactly how to avoid a similar fate.
Read on for Ashley’s five golden rules that are sure to bag you a second date and maybe even a boyfriend, if you’re lucky.
Take your time
No need to fast forward into the “soul mates” title just because everything seems to be going smoothly in your relationship. Learn to appreciate the unknown and wait for your relationship to unfold itself. The anticipation of a “title” can be just as exciting, if it happens on its own. And trust me you’ll appreciate your present relationship’s growth more. Don’t try and push the connection into a stage that it’s not ready for. Patience is a virtue.
Get out there and work it girl!
Get busy taking care of yourself. Find your strengths, weaknesses and interests! Join a club. Go for a run. Learn a new trade. Volunteer. Learn to feel good about yourself, so you’re not as dependent on someone else. People who are busy, don’t have time to be needy, they’re always preoccupied by other things. Live your life, not his!
One of the hardest traits to obtain, but also one of the most important traits to have in a healthy relationship. Neediness is often associated with a lack of trust, and sometimes a fear of abandonment. When you find yourself doubting someone’s feelings for you or their loyalty, take the time and analyze the situation before you jump the gun with an overabundance of needy and insecure texts/phone calls. Remember, If you really care for this person, and they’ve earned your trust, give it to them!
In order to love someone in the best possible way, you need to learn and love yourself first. Learn to do things alone, like reading a book, going for a walk, going to the movies! You need to be comfortable with your own thoughts. Figure out what you like and what you want to do will help you in developing a healthy awareness of what a healthy relationship really is. When you’re comfortable with you, you’ll be ready for him.
Put your phone down and walk away! One of the most common and annoying things that men complain about would be the neediness women portray on the phone. There is no need to stay on the phone with your partner for hours on end. Save the important conversations for face time, leave him with something to look forward to! Limit your phone calls with them. Calling someone all the time and not letting them off the phone easily makes you appear needy. If you find that after a while, he isn’t picking up your calls as often, your more than likely being “screened,” which may be a clear sign that you’re calling too often.
As Professional Matchmaker Janis Spindels protg, Ashley Kaylor has been able to learn the inside tricks of the trade and has traveled the world meeting and greeting thousands of men and women, hoping to find them their perfect match! The perfect combination of Ashley’s natural intuition, experience and education has allowed Ashley to step out on her own as an exceptionally talented apprentice of the next generation!