Gwyneth Paltrow is one of the biggest stars today for a wide variety of reasons, but the 40-year-old actress and recent lifestyle expert (you know you read GOOP) often tends to find herself in the headlines more for her outlandish, affected, and, for lack of a better phrase, downright bougie quotes about her privileged lifestyle.
In May, Paltrow covered Harper’s Bazaar and opened up to the mag about a variety of things, including how she was able to survive her 10th winter in London (hint: a private chef and Japanese anime screenings were involved). Obviously, that stellar sound bite is only one is long line of ridiculous, laughable, and pretentious quotes Gwynnie’s made over the years. Read on for the best of ‘em!
On getting through the cold winter months: Harper’s Bazaar‘s Sarah Brown writes: “Having survived her 10th London winter (she got through January by assigning it “international month,” and amusing Moses and his big sister, Apple, 9, with a visiting Italian chef, Japanese anime screenings, and hand-rolled-sushi lessons, no less), Paltrow admits that her dreams of relocating the family to their recently acquired residence in Brentwood, California, are becoming ever more urgent.
“Just to have my kids be in the sun every day—picking avocados, going for a swim,” she says. “Even for two years or something, and come back when they go to senior school.” Just what kids want to do, pick avocados. Also: senior school?
On reminding us yet again she’s friends with Jay-Z and Beyoncé: ”I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”
On America vs. Europe: “We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature—all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.”
On the ultra-exclusive Met Gala: Paltrow strutted down the red carpet at 2013′s high-profile fashion event clad in a coral Valentino Haute Couture gown and looked downright thrilled vamping for the cameras. However, looks can apparently be deceiving. The next day, Paltrow told USA Today that she was actually having an abysmal time. “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all,” she told the newspaper.
On her kid’s diet: “They love a brown rice stir-fry, but they also love their ‘Coke of the week.’” Also: ”My daughter gravitates toward fresh fruit and raw nuts but will inhale a bag of hot Cheetos at the airport. It’s all about balance.” These gems came from a GOOP newsletter, naturally.
On the sun: “We’re human beings and the sun is the sun—how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you,” Gwynnie so sagely told British Cosmopolitan.
On life’s precious balance: “You know, I use organic products, but I get [laser treatments]. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.”
On the trouble with Parisian concierges:“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’
On her reaction to veggie gardens: “When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”
On her own diet in last year’s Harper’s Bazaar: “I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable.” Weird, since she’s also claimed she cut out all booze and bread in other interviews.
On her children’s nanny: “She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.”
On her dream last meal (and boozing habits): “Oysters and cocktail sauce, and then a baked, stuffed lobster and french fries. I would have a baguette and a cheese course for my dessert, and red wine. I drank like crazy [when the kids were babies]. How else could I get through my day?”
On what her family can’t live without: “We basically can’t live without Vegenaise—it’s a little out of control.”
On her DNA: “I AM AFRICAN.” Um, okay. (You’ll understand when you click the link, FYI.)
On Hot Dogs: “I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun… except hot dogs.”
On Reese Witherspoon types: “Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, ‘God, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status.”
On hallucinating in Sedona, Arizona: “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”
What’s your favorite Gwyneth Paltrow quote? Tell us below!
Photo via Harper’s Bazaar